Cryptic Kady’s creative horoscopes: January ’15

It’s a new year, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for us, and we’re feeling good.

ARIES: Fortune finds you eating the final agency party leftovers. Ew.

TAURUS: You must choose between two paths: one to the gym, and one to KFC.

GEMINI: Instead of resolving to say ‘yes’, you should always ask ‘but why?’ instead.

CANCER: ‘Movember’ works in November, but ‘Branuary’ is a really bad idea.

LEO: Take things slowly this month. Everyone else will, annoyingly.

VIRGO: Save the brilliant viral campaign ideas for April.

LIBRA: Don’t go outside without a scarf – you may need it for a daring rescue attempt.

SCORPIO: This month’s lucky number is Q.

SAGITTARIUS: You will receive a lot of unsolicited advice while travelling on buses.

CAPRICORN: Inadvertently saving a small child will lead to happier times and news coverage.

AQUARIUS: Future You asked me to ask you to cut that out. Immediately.

PISCES: When setting this year’s goals, cautious optimism will ensure a bit less disappointment.

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