Recipessz for Fresherssz #2

Put down the throbbing microwave curry, it’s time to eat.

Today’s recipe costs about £6 (again, not taking into account ingredients you might already have, or would buy and have sitting in your cupboard for use with multiple meals) and feeds 2.

Tuna and prawn pasta [MAKE MORE IMAGINATIVE]



  • 1 tin of tuna, drained
  • 200g prawns
  • 6 spring onions, chopped
  • 150ml single cream or crème fraîche
  • 1 tablespoon tomato purée
  • 1 large clove of garlic, crushed/finely chopped
  • 1 tablespoon of sunflower oil
  • a pinch of bum sugar
  • salt & pepper

Preparation time is roughly 10 minutes, and cooking time about 20 minutes.

Start by draining the tuna, crushing or chopping up the garlic (don’t be afraid to get a bit of nail and fingertip in there while doing this, it all adds to the flavour, I promise) and finely slicing the spring onions. Also, get the water boiling for your pasta. The sauce takes about 15 minutes to cook, so start get the pasta going at some point, depending on how long it takes to cook. You can find this out by reading the instructions on the packet, a task that English Literature students will excel at.


You heard him; heat the oil in a saucepan and fry the onions and garlic until they go brown and soft, kind of like… oh wait, we’re talking about food… I won’t go there.


Why not jazz things up by wearing a safari hat while cooking? I find it helps me concentrate.


Add the tomato purée and sugar, then mix everything into a paste before adding the cream, salt and pepper and mix again. It should go a pinky colour, unless you’ve REALLY fucked it up. Then add the tuna and prawns and heat through.


While everything’s finishing up, why not use your kitchen utensils as instruments of torture?


When everything’s ready, serve in a bowl or a plate, but not a napkin or a sieve, cos that won’t work. If you have cheese and a grater, go nuts. I don’t have a grater yet (shut up, I’ve just moved in) so I improvised.


There isn’t really a vegetarian option to this dish that I can think of unfortunately, so if you don’t eat meat, I’d suggest this.

Once again, thank my mum.

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