SSZ Bookshelf: The Art Game

Today I present you a book review with a twist. I’m not a fan of suspense movies, so I’m going to spoil the twist before it even gets going: There is no book. The book never existed. If anyone ever mentions the book to you, they are lying and you should keep on walking.

What I have here is something akin to a deconstructed book. I mean, I’m not sure why you’d want a book where the pages are not bound together, but I’m not sure why you’d want a holder for your banana and yet they exist, so here I am.

…Oh, they’re cards, you say? I knew that! Pfft. These so called … “cards” fashion into a dainty and delightful game known as ‘THE ART GAME’ that all the family shall be eerily smiling round the table at.


But what’s the point..?
Why would you need to ask that, do you hate fun or something?

I love fun! How does it work?
Play your favourite artists against other like Pokemon to discover who has higher stats. But instead of moves like thunder and water gun you’ll be keeping things sensible and using your influence and critical reception. So classy. The person who hoards all the cards is declared the winner.

Is it for me?
The game is aimed at all ages but it seems more appropriate as a learning resource for children or anyone who is very unfamiliar with artists. It describes itself as ‘Artists’ Trump Cards’ and that’s certainly what it is. The illustrations are, as you’d expect, on point for Laurence King and a definite draw. The mixture of the artists style with their own image is a cute way to keep it simple and informative.

If you’re the annoying know-it-all creative type (you’re reading ShellsuitZombie so you should be slowly nodding right now) this makes a nice off-beat gift from your off-beat self.

Did it teach you anything?
I was surprised to see some artist’s maximum auction prices were less than I expected (Mondrian at 27.5 million) compared to others who were more than I expected (106.5 million for Picasso?!). On the whole, if you have already studied art you’re not going to learn a whole lot here, but it is a nice coffee table piece with some great illustrations. You can also show off to your friends how much you know about art, if you’re so inclined.

How different is your life now?
I discovered my new favourite Pokemon is Frieda Kahlo. My teeth also hurt a little bit from opening the packaging.

What if I have no friends?
I’m not sure why you’d be seeking out a multiplayer card-game if you have nobody to play with, but I appreciate you want to feel included. Well, the cards could make great christmas decorations if you want to look like you’ve lost it; they’re pretty thick so definitely serve a purpose for breaking and entering in place of your regular credit card; you could cover your entire body in them in some sort of live-art statement piece on the narrative of art in society; or alternatively, cover your dog in them because it would probably be cute AND be a live-art statement piece on the narrative of art in society. There’s definitely more options and I welcome hearing them.

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