As a 23 year old copywriter with no discernible other talents I am growing ever more used to being rejected for jobs. All sorts of people get back to me to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ and the more it happens the stronger I grow, apparently. Unfortunately it also means I grow poorer too and am forced to go on living the freelance dream. This dream, right now, means I have plenty of time to write this. You lucky things. Of all the rejection letters/ emails/ phone calls I’ve ever had some stand out in my memory above all others. These are usually the rejections that provide reasons. The ‘You came across well but…’ rejections that not only prevent you from earning more money but also prevent you from thinking it might have just been a mistake and that you’ll get the correct reply any day now. In a world where it’s ever harder to find work if you’re not willing to sacrifice your soul, reasons are the bit of salt being rubbed into the wound. They’re the kick while you’re down. They’re the pretentious pat on your back after you’ve found the girl you like getting off with some French guy on the dance floor. ‘It’s fine Ash,’ reason says. ‘He’s French, what chance did you have?’
As a freelancer I am used to having to scrap for every bit of work, having to beat other freelancers up in order to get the brief or send dodgy photographs of them to Heat magazine to blacken their name. Normally when you don’t win the brief that’s it; you never find out why. But recently, having applied for everything on Indeed that says ‘Copywriter East Midlands’ I’ve been getting a lot of answers giving me detailed descriptions of why I’m not good enough. They all follow the sandwich insult approach; say something nice, something awful and then something nice again. These are my favourites to date:
“You interviewed very well and scored highly in all the tasks we set using a great tone of voice. However we felt you were too much of a team player. We hope this helps with future interviews.”
BOLLOCKS DOES IT.
“You came across as a very knowledgeable person and as someone we would love to work with. We are worried, though, that you have done too much throughout your career and won’t be able to focus on the task in hand. We wish you all the best in what we’re sure will be a glowing career.”
BOLLOCKS DO YOU.
“You have everything we were looking for and more but we’re concerned you’ll want to do more in the future and don’t want to take a risk on someone who might want to move on to bigger things one day.”
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING?
In short, kids, even if you’re really awesome at what you do and come across really well in your interviews you probably still won’t get the job because life is a prick. Keep trying, though. One day you too could be writing a bitter blog post like this.